The last 2 weeks have been hard on many levels. First I have to say sorry for not being able to post much, I really don’t have many excuses. This post is not going to be a long one… I just want to say a couple of things that were (still are) on my mind.
I don’t even know how to start. I just want to explain more and give more sense to the story, but it is just as easy as this: I Wanted to Give Up! Yes, that is right. I have allowed myself to get crushed by people around me. I have listened to their mean comments and advice. And I thought they are right, I thought that I am not good enough, I thought I should just give up. I was told I should give up and change my career, that I should reconsider my choices in life. It was such a huge blow, I felt like a slap on the face or even more, like a punch in the face. It never happened before and I thought that person was right. They also made fun of me and all the things on social media I do… I was at the point when I thought that everything I was doing was completely wrong; that everything was so bad that I shouldn’t do this again in my life. There were days when I was trying to focus on the good things, I was looking back at all my notes, all my previous lesson plans, all your lovely comments and I was trying to repeat to myself why I was doing all this. Some days were harder than others and I almost got to the point when I just didn’t want to continue doing this. Yes! I wanted to give up! I thought that this is just too much for me to endure.
Now I am a little calmer and I think I got more time to reflect on things and talk with more people. Now I know that the journey will be hard, but I know I will not give up. Also, there is a huge thing I have learnt from this: don’t let someone tell you what you should do with your life. Don’t let someone tell you that you are not good enough at something. Yes, I am not perfect, but I can learn and learn and learn more. I had to remind myself that I am my own master, that I can do anything if I want to. I am taking things a little slower at the moment, but I am sure I will get back to normal soon.
I am back to the things that make me feel good and I won’t let someone else to do this to me again.
Thank you for all your support, patience and understanding. Thank you lots!