I wanted to Give Up

The last 2 weeks have been hard on many levels. First I have to say sorry for not being able to post much, I really don’t have many excuses. This post is not going to be a long one… I just want to say a couple of things that were (still are) on my mind.

I don’t even know how to start. I just want to explain more and give more sense to the story, but it is just as easy as this: I Wanted to Give Up! Yes, that is right. I have allowed myself to get crushed by people around me. I have listened to their mean comments and advice. And I thought they are right, I thought that I am not good enough, I thought I should just give up. I was told I should give up and change my career, that I should reconsider my choices in life. It was such a huge blow, I felt like a slap on the face or even more, like a punch in the face. It never happened before and I thought that person was right. They also made fun of me and all the things on social media I do… I was at the point when I thought that everything I was doing was completely wrong; that everything was so bad that I shouldn’t do this again in my life. There were days when I was trying to focus on the good things, I was looking back at all my notes, all my previous lesson plans, all your lovely comments and I was trying to repeat to myself why I was doing all this. Some days were harder than others and I almost got to the point when I just didn’t want to continue doing this. Yes! I wanted to give up! I thought that this is just too much for me to endure.

Now I am a little calmer and I think I got more time to reflect on things and talk with more people. Now I know that the journey will be hard, but I know I will not give up. Also, there is a huge thing I have learnt from this: don’t let someone tell you what you should do with your life. Don’t let someone tell you that you are not good enough at something. Yes, I am not perfect, but I can learn and learn and learn more. I had to remind myself that I am my own master, that I can do anything if I want to. I am taking things a little slower at the moment, but I am sure I will get back to normal soon.

I am back to the things that make me feel good and I won’t let someone else to do this to me again.

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Thank you for all your support, patience and understanding. Thank you lots!

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16 thoughts on “I wanted to Give Up

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  1. When I started teaching I felt like quitting after about three months. On that occasion I did find someone to talk to and went back and continued teaching. In my case the deputy principal was very helpful. Comments from some students and parents was to the effect that they would have been sad to have me leave. The short story is that I was a high school math teacher for 32 years. If you wish to be a math teacher, please persevere. My experience is that there may be further times when you doubt that being a math teacher should remain your goal. On the other hand, there is nothing wrong with finding a different profession. However, please do not make rash decisions but do make realistic decisions.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you very much. You are completely right. I am not going to rush, I try to stay focused and I still want to be a math teacher. Hopefully I will not give up, but I believe the road ahead will a bumpy one, kind of like a sinusoidal graph. But I am prepared for this.

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  2. Most things in life worthwhile are hard. Journeys make us stronger and better. As a seasoned Math teacher, I can see you are full of innovative ideas and truly care for your students and their success. Forge ahead, don’t get distracted. You are doing great things, keep on going.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I enjoy your posts very much – I feel less isolated in my love of math following math posts like yours and others. (I teach at a jail and I am the only math teacher, so I don’t have that comradery at work to share math “stuff” with other math lovers.) Don’t let one person’s opinion dictate your destiny. I have taught in various places for many years and still feel like a new teacher at times. There is so much to learn about math and so much to learn about how to teach math so students learn it well and enjoy it also. Helen

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  4. Hey, I wanted to say thank you for writing this post. I’m in the middle of this kind of situation myself, and I know all too well the days of talking yourself into it, reminding yourself why you’re here, and hoping you’ll believe it just for today… It’s comforting to know that other folks in the math+ed world have gone through the same thing and have found light at the end.

    I ran across a quote today that’s holding me high for the moment; maybe you will like it too. G.K. Chesterson: “If a thing is worth doing, it is worth doing badly.”.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you very much. It took me a lot to understand this and continue doing this. The quote is wonderful, I am happy to see other people find the power to keep working

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