I have been thinking about this for a couple of weeks now and finally I thought it would be a good idea to say it after all. This post is going to be a little personal and I thought a lot if it is worth writing it, how should I say this and if I should say this…
Some of you probably remember one of my older posts on this topic where I have talked a little about the school I was sent for a period (part 4). The PGDE program is organized such that we have two different placements in two different schools. My first placement was in a nice private school in the area. Don’t imagine that everything was pink, but I have found a way to enjoy things and LEARN because that was the whole idea. And I am glad I had the opportunity to see how a private school is organized.
Now I am in a state school and I am excited to see the other part of the system in a way. The whole idea is obviously the same because it is the same system. I like that in this school I have the opportunity to see how people handle other types of behavioral problems, other types of social problems. I am not sure if this is just for this school specifically, but I enjoy the cultural diversity here. I enjoy hearing other languages spoken by children during break. For the first time in my life I am incredibly happy I understand so many other languages even if I am not extremely good at speaking or writing.
Unfortunately there is something that made my first weeks here not so beautiful. The good part is that this is about adults, not children. There are many types of people on this planet and obviously there are some which I will never understand and I will never work well with. But for the first time ever I found someone who just seems to not want to see me there and gives me so much hassle, so many problems and so much stress. A person that, what ever I do there is almost nothing right. A person that doesn’t understand how much I put in all of this. A person that makes me fall to pieces and cry almost every afternoon. Sometimes it is nothing more than a word, a gesture, an expression. In a way I am happy that I have met a person like this because now I can LEARN how to react, how to think, how to not care sometimes, but it is so hard…
The last 2 weeks have not been the best ever. I was thinking about quitting all this because all my work, all my struggle is not worth it. But every time I am thinking at the feeling of accomplishment at the end of a lesson, at the dream I have, at the things I still want to do. It is hard for me to write these things. I have never wrote something so personal before, but you (this blog) is part of my life and sometimes your comments, your excitement, your passion are things that help me stay here, help me continue my dream.
Hope your last weeks have been better. Take good care of you and your dreams.
Don’t forget that maths is everywhere! Enjoy! ~LThMath